Surrendering to Car Repair

The day after I began writing a blog entry called “The Spiritual Process of Surrender Gone Wrong” the Service Engine Soon light on my car dashboard flickered on – again! Five hundred and fifty dollars had bought me three whole days of carefree driving. It was hardly worth the cost.

I had felt triumphant after the light had gone on the first time. The dealership had originally given me a long list of possible problems associated with the warning light that totaled a whopping $3,000!!

I had been cool and steely when I asked, “That I need new tires, which is the only thing I understand on this list, can not be indicated by the warning light – so this is my question, what on this list do you have to do to turn the light off?”

Sheepishly I’d been told, “Maybe, this.”
Well, as I said, that work lasted three days.

Is car repair such an inexact science that the mechanics can not figure out exactly what goes on in the engine? It’s a machine, albeit a complex one, but it is still a machine! One part interconnects to the other! Find the breakdown in the chain – and fix it!

I’ve heard all the reports about how often women get ripped off with car repairs. I felt disappointed, frustrated, angry and victimized. What was going on here?

Before I answer that question, let me back up at bit and share part of the original piece I began for “Surrender Gone Wrong:”

All of us, at one time or another, can become
1) frustrated, confused or lost in our challenges. We become
2) attached or dedicated to carrying our burdens around with us. We experience our troubles as heavy weight on our back or on our shoulders. We are emotionally distraught and our thoughts return to the same unproductive cycle again and again. At some point in this dysfunctional process,
3) the spiritual seeker will follow their training and Surrender to What Is. If the Hidden Teachings (the inner Truth or the silver lining) in the challenge are not discovered, then there is a further descent into
4) a loss of self or feelings of ungrounded-ness. Next in the process, there is a descent down into feelings of
5) defeat or victimization. Take it all one more step down, and you devolve into
6) stagnation or nothingness – or Surrender Gone Wrong.

Since I had derailed spiritually at step 3 and become ungrounded then victimized, I decided I had to do some personal work.

So what are the Hidden Teachings in having the service engine light come on twice? Pay attention? That seems obvious. Be cautious? Are there things about me I need to attend to? Is there a physical issue I need to address? Am I being called to have a full blown temper tantrum? To be patient? Now I was driven to resolve this.

Since the light said “Service Engine Soon,” maybe I had to pay closer attention to an issue that is subtle today and non-specific. Was there something going on with a family member? A friend? Was it going to be a tough winter? Maybe I should buy snow tires. What about my dog? Should I get him to the vet?

Exhausted with meaningless digression, I sat back. I knew that when I hit on an answer, I’d feel it. There would be that warmth and peace that wells up from the inside out – and I would know I’d gotten my answer. I put my pen down, ran my hands through my hair and gave it a yank out of frustration – and then I got it!

It’s a car! It’s only a car! My life is not a predictable sequence of cause and effect events! My body is not a machine because it can regenerate and replace old, worn out parts. It responds to every one of my thoughts and emotions, and it continues to function and thrive when I sleep. A machine can do none of the above.

My body is a miracle of interwoven interactions. Each cell has a mind of its own, is absolutely committed to the synchronicity and community of its family of cells, works in complete harmonious cooperation with my organs…and is, at the same time, blindly devoted to orders, suggestions and unconscious directions from me.

I got it! I am not a machine! On a spiritual level, I believe I get better and wiser for every day I live. Thank you, my dear car, for reminding me that I am part of a magical, fantastic interplay of happenstance, a magnificent orchestration, spontaneous brilliance, Divine Inspiration and all that is of the highest good. What a relief!

I relaxed back into my revelation with a sigh. It was all just a reminder. Now that was Surrender Gone Right. There was no defeat, victimization or stagnation. I had gone from Surrender to What Is to self-revelation.

Thanks for listening! There are spiritual lessons everywhere.

P.S. Right after I had my revelation, the mechanic came out and said, “Which do you like better $85 or $700?” (Was this a trick question from the Universe?) I responded hesitantly, “$85?” And he cheered, “You got it! You win!”

Ah, yes I had.