The holidays are wrought with multiple stressors. The demand on our time makes us physically vulnerable. Emotionally we are pulled in many, many different directions. We get confused – and our spiritual goals can become challenged making us feel ungrounded and disconnected from our promises to self.
If this describes what is happening in your life, you are not alone. No matter what your responsibilities during the holiday, you will probably feel some level of stress.
What can you do to navigate the holidays with Grace?
1…Share your feelings with a friend or family member you trust.
When stressful thoughts and emotions are shared, they dissipate. When you share, you not only give a voice to your concerns which clarifies your distress, but you hear your challenges out loud – which can be invaluable. Sharing your stress also invites the receiver to share their compassion and offer you the best of what they know. This makes your recipient feel trusted and important to your well-being, and you are grateful – a winning experience for the holidays.
2…Make a list of what is expected of you.
This will help you to create a plan of action and to evaluate the importance of your responsibilities. Make the list then label the items from ‘1 to whatever’ in order of importance. Be sure to cross out (with gusto!) those expectations that are not reasonable in the time frame you have. You can also evaluate your list for those expectations that are beyond your abilities. Cross them our or ask for help completing those tasks. Reduce or distill your list down to those expectations that are absolutes to your holiday happiness then begin to do them today!
3…Find a way to accept What Is.
The holidays are marked by traditions and sometimes even family members that for one reason or another make us uncomfortable. If this is true for you, be willing to voice your discomfort but just as willing to find acceptance for What Is. If you feel unsafe in some way by all means make yourself safe, but if you just don’t like Uncle Teddy’s jokes, find a way to accept him on some level. Try to see him for who he is at Heart. If you do not like Grandma’s pineapple cake have a small slice and intend to taste the Love she put in it. Find the best of What Is in everything that unfolds during the holidays.
4…Manage feelings of loss.
Holidays bring to mind those we have lost. Sometimes the people we expect to be joining us cannot. They may have a schedule conflict – or they may not be well enough to travel to us – or they may have lost their battle with a disease – or even suffered a tragic end. Make a commitment to honor them with your words. You can light a candle and leave it burning through your meal/holiday event. You may even set a place at the table for any people Loved who cannot attend and are dearly missed. Be sure to say something because you are probably not the only family member feeling the loss and not knowing what to do with their feelings.
5…Remember this: Anticipation creates anxiety.
It is not the anticipation of the holiday event itself that creates anxiety. If you are honest with yourself, you will realize that in the moment you are safe and life is in balance. It is the anticipation of a projected dire outcome that creates anxiety. Do your best to stay in the Now taking one day (or one moment at a time) celebrating what or who is right in front of you. This could be caring co-workers, good weather, compassionate friends, a family member who understands you, a dedicated life partner, Loving children, a devoted pet – or the opportunity to take yet another breath in your lifetime on this beautiful planet!
To a Holiday filled with Loving family and friends, Good Cheer and boundless Inner Joy…Corinne
Note: If you are unable to manage your stress, please seek out the support of a trained professional.
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Written by Corinne S. Ramage, Leader in Enlightened Thought
Creator of The Spiritual Healthcare Network of online programs
Author of “Compassion Alive and Meaningful”
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