How to Heal an Unforgiving Attitude

You have sought to define yourself with clarity, you have clung courageously to the clear definition of You, and you waved it above your head as a victory banner. And so you should have!

But another issue surfaces now for some of you – your awareness of how unforgiveness filters into and detrimentally affects your spiritual goals.

You come to a point in your evolution when you strive to take the steps that release you from the shackles that bind you to unforgiveness. This unforgiving attitude needs to move through you. Today it moves with you.

The challenge before you is to stand the ground of self and allow your life to flow through you. It is time to let go of any unforgiving attitudes because like eating too many snacks can derail your dieting goals, unforgiveness does the same to your spiritual goals.

You choose to find an Inner Peace that allows you to be You, but there is a part of you that fears this final letting go, a part of you that fears you will be truly empty if the biting, hurtful judgments you safe guard are released. Accustomed to a fullness that is misleading, you cling to this unforgiving attitude thinking it defines you in some way. You say to yourself, ‘It is my opinions that define me! Isn’t this true?’ The answer is, ‘Yes and no.’

Opinions assist in self definition and are very important to a certain level of spiritual growth. They do define how you feel in the moment, but they are not indicative of who you are at Heart or at your innermost core. On another level of spiritual evolution, an opinion is meant to float or drift with What Is. Holding anything has the potential to create distortion, dysfunction, infection or illness whether it is bacteria or contaminated thought.

Opinions do fill you up with words and feelings, but they can also cloud who you are on the Essence level. Unforgiveness is an opinion that has tangled itself around you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically impeding your movement. Although your opinion once served to direct you towards how you felt, the one of unforgiveness does not.

You have come to a point where you realize how much your unforgiveness compromises your spiritual goals. Furthermore you realize how much your goals on a Soul level are clouded, and this is causing you additional suffering.

How wonderful it is that you realize your potential to live a more open and Loving life!

How painful it is that you realize your potential to live a more open and Loving life…

You are meant to be rooted in You and connected to the Divine and All That Is. You are meant to be rooted in who you are at the Essence level where you know You and do not need to define who you are any longer. You are meant to be rooted in your Essence where you can fully be One with All That Is – and not lose yourself.

Let us look at exactly what unforgiveness looks like and where it lies your
Beingness, and work to release its grip on you:

Unforgiveness is a full stop on the Soul level. It manifests as a blank space or a misconnection to your Soul Mission. You begin to take a step and either lose track of your intention or feel as if you trip over something unseen.

(Free! Download The Eglabeggel Effect)

Unforgiveness is a dramatic response to an event in your life. The event is always personal affecting your sensitivities from the physical to your innermost core. It is an opinion held tightly that does not shift or evolve. This holding affects your ability to change, and to recognize or move with Divine Inspiration.

In time any part of your story becomes your entire story. You are all of your parts and one of your parts. You can not separate what you do not like about yourself and secret it away in a box tucked deep down within you without repercussions. The box will be a part of your story. Whether the secret escapes or stays harbored, it will become your story.

Since you are spiritually-minded, you are informed here that your unforgiveness has repercussions to others as well. It is felt clearly and definitively even if it is not openly stated. Unforgiveness feels inauthentic to others whether it is overt or secret, and this will trigger a defensive response in the others. (A defensive response can be blame, anger or withdrawal.) Secret unforgiveness creates responses that seem out of context which create many types of relationship breakdowns from aloofness to open, harsh judgmental behavior.

The question then is, “What do you do to heal an unforgiving attitude?”


Steps to Healing Unforgiveness

1) An unforgiving attitude must be fully acknowledged, seen for what it is and felt to its full potential. Close you eyes and relax. Make it your intention to see/hear/feel exactly how unforgiveness compromises your well-being. What is its shape? What color is it? Does it have a smell? Where is it in your body? Is it saying anything to you or directing your thoughts in some way?

(It is only when you do this and realize its repercussions to your well-being that you truly understand how important it is to heal.

2) Take the time you need to fully describe your unforgiveness in your journal or draw a picture of what you have experienced.

(You are getting a clear vision of your unforgiveness in order to develop a unique, healing response to it.)

3) Sit quietly with your description of your unforgiveness. Without disappearing into it, reflect on it. Ask to be shown how to heal it. This unique, healing response will be shown to you in an exact response to your description of your unforgiving attitude.

For instance: If your unforgiveness is a black cloud over your Heart, you may see a warm sun coming up and burning off the cloud – or a breeze going through you that clears your Heart.

Or…If your unforgiveness feels like something that has pressed down heavily on your thoughts, you may be shown how to accept a lightness into your Being.

Or…If you feel your unforgiveness is a thick, thorny vine around your ankles, you may be shown how to take a machete and cut yourself free.

Or…If your unforgiveness is stuck in your throat, you may speak barbed words that do not come from your Heart, and you may need to swallow and digest the words and the unforgiveness. Without realizing it, you may actually be hungry for those words!

Let your imagination be your guide. It is of Divine Inspiration and is meant to lead you to resolution.

4) Recite Personal Declarations daily to support your healing intentions.

Optimally recite them (in totality or in part) two times a day, once in the morning upon rising and once in the evening before retiring. Feel free to personalize these declarations or self-craft some brand new ones for yourself. Reciting declarations focuses your thoughts in a productive direction and gives voice to your intentions.


Personal Declarations
to support your healing intentions

There is a part of me
that still wants to hold you responsible for your actions,
a part of me that wants to punish, judge or reject you,
but I now understand the repercussions to myself and you.
I understand that my own spiritual evolution is compromised
by feelings of unforgiveness.

There is a part of me
that still wants to punish, judge or reject myself for my actions,
but I now understand the repercussions of doing this to myself.
I understand how unforgiveness traps me
and interferes with my personal growth.

I release myself from the confines of my unforgiving attitude,
to the best of my ability,
and take a full breath of air that fills the space opened
in my Heart and Soul.

I feel a new space within me,
and I intend to fill it with the life I am meant to live.

My new lightness of Being
allows me to more easily recognize
and move with Divine Inspiration,
and I do so with an openness new to me.

With Gratitude,
I accept the new direction I am traveling.


Walk your life with an open, Forgiving Heart – and walk with ease into the life you are meant to live.

It is absolutely within your potential to do so.

Take a deep breath of Trust and step forward into the rest of your life!

Soul Companions

It is probably hard enough for some of you to accept the possibility of reincarnation let alone this next subject – but since the topic comes up on occasion in my private practice, and did so again recently, I thought I’d share this information with you.

Some of you have become open to the idea of you having a Soul and a unique Soul Mission. Still others have been spiritual seekers for many years and are probably aware of terms like Oversoul or Soul Family. Without going into those definitions here, I want to introduce a new term – Soul Companion.

When I refer to a Soul Companion, I am talking about someone who has traveled in close association with you for many lifetimes. You have Loved them deeply, and they have Loved you. The relationship is a pivotal part of who you are today at Heart.

The Soul Companion relationship is usually person-to-animal where the animal serves your life or you theirs. You know you are in relationship with a Soul Companion when the Love is complete and unconditional, and when the connection is immediate. The dedication between the two is absolutely without boundaries.

Although most Soul Companion relationships are person-to-animal, the two can also both be people. These relationships, though, will be crowded with personal agenda and challenges even if they are Loving. Relationships between humans and animals are examples of a type of unconditional Love that a person-to-person relationship aspires to, but rarely attains.

Most recently I did a reading for a young girl and her very sick horse. I could feel the dedication between the two as being broader and deeper than it could be in one lifetime. When I looked back to their past life relationships, I saw the horse as a lamb that would have frozen to death if the young girl had not slept with him in the barn. The horse had also been a dog that went for help when the same young girl was injured in a snow storm.

The greatest gift of the Soul Companion relationship is that we will out live our companion and be forced to contemplate our loss and their unconditional Love for us. When we lose a trusted, Loved animal in childhood, it may take many years of maturity to wake up the Inner Wisdom required to truly understand the role of the beloved pet in our life.

What of ‘soulmates?’ How does this trendy term relate to what we are talking about here? Soulmates aspire to the same kind of unconditional Love as do partners in a Soul Companion relationship, and maybe we have to lose someone to truly appreciate their place in our lives, but here is something the ‘soulmate’ definition does not include….

You, yourself, could have been the horse or the lamb or the dog! Perhaps uncomfortable to consider, and many writings on reincarnation will tell you otherwise, but I’ve seen it. And like you, I believe it when I see it.

We are so much grander and the possibilities for spiritual evolution so much broader than what we can imagine. From a rigid human perspective, we can barely touch on the infinite possibilities in our evolutionary experience.

Kick off your shoes, feel into your multi-dimensional feet, and wake up to all of who you are!

My work has shown me that no one aspect of life or one species is superior. Again and again, I have been shown that all life and all experience are sacred.

So allow yourself to awaken to the depths of who you are, all the way down to the Soul level where anything and everything is possible – and you are All Things.