The holidays are wrought with multiple stressors. The demand on our time makes us physically vulnerable. Emotionally we are pulled in many, many different directions. We get confused – and our spiritual goals can become challenged making us feel ungrounded and disconnected from our promises to self.
If this describes what is happening in your life, you are not alone. No matter what your responsibilities during the holiday, you will probably feel some level of stress.
What can you do to navigate the holidays with Grace?
1…Share your feelings with a friend or family member you trust.
When stressful thoughts and emotions are shared, they dissipate. When you share, you not only give a voice to your concerns which clarifies your distress, but you hear your challenges out loud – which can be invaluable. Sharing your stress also invites the receiver to share their compassion and offer you the best of what they know. This makes your recipient feel trusted and important to your well-being, and you are grateful – a winning experience for the holidays.
2…Make a list of what is expected of you.
This will help you to create a plan of action and to evaluate the importance of your responsibilities. Make the list then label the items from ‘1 to whatever’ in order of importance. Be sure to cross out (with gusto!) those expectations that are not reasonable in the time frame you have. You can also evaluate your list for those expectations that are beyond your abilities. Cross them our or ask for help completing those tasks. Reduce or distill your list down to those expectations that are absolutes to your holiday happiness then begin to do them today!
3…Find a way to accept What Is.
The holidays are marked by traditions and sometimes even family members that for one reason or another make us uncomfortable. If this is true for you, be willing to voice your discomfort but just as willing to find acceptance for What Is. If you feel unsafe in some way by all means make yourself safe, but if you just don’t like Uncle Teddy’s jokes, find a way to accept him on some level. Try to see him for who he is at Heart. If you do not like Grandma’s pineapple cake have a small slice and intend to taste the Love she put in it. Find the best of What Is in everything that unfolds during the holidays.
4…Manage feelings of loss.
Holidays bring to mind those we have lost. Sometimes the people we expect to be joining us cannot. They may have a schedule conflict – or they may not be well enough to travel to us – or they may have lost their battle with a disease – or even suffered a tragic end. Make a commitment to honor them with your words. You can light a candle and leave it burning through your meal/holiday event. You may even set a place at the table for any people Loved who cannot attend and are dearly missed. Be sure to say something because you are probably not the only family member feeling the loss and not knowing what to do with their feelings.
5…Remember this: Anticipation creates anxiety.
It is not the anticipation of the holiday event itself that creates anxiety. If you are honest with yourself, you will realize that in the moment you are safe and life is in balance. It is the anticipation of a projected dire outcome that creates anxiety. Do your best to stay in the Now taking one day (or one moment at a time) celebrating what or who is right in front of you. This could be caring co-workers, good weather, compassionate friends, a family member who understands you, a dedicated life partner, Loving children, a devoted pet – or the opportunity to take yet another breath in your lifetime on this beautiful planet!
To a Holiday filled with Loving family and friends, Good Cheer and boundless Inner Joy…Corinne
Note: If you are unable to manage your stress, please seek out the support of a trained professional.
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Written by Corinne S. Ramage, Leader in Enlightened Thought
Creator of The Spiritual Healthcare Network of online programs
Author of “Compassion Alive and Meaningful”
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Showing posts with label coping skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coping skills. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The Energy of Deception
One of my students asked me to reflect on the energy of deception which was appearing big time in his life. As soon as I began my reflection, I was struck by how very pervasive the energy of deception is in international politics, environmental concerns and social issues. It seems to be everywhere on all levels of our lives! Grateful for my student’s request, I share the following thoughts with you. Please feel free to post any questions or comments you might have.
Deception walks with you stealthily when it does.
It is never forthright.
It is of darkness and shadow.
Dedicated to its mission to deceive,
it will stand tall in defense of its position if exposed.
Denial and the manipulation of facts come easy to the Deceiver. The recipient will be looked straight in the eye and their reaction disregarded. The Deceiver is mission driven and strong. On the other hand, the one who discovers they have been deceived will feel deeply cut and betrayed.
When deception is discovered the recipient will stop and search the past frantically for indicators of where the deception began. They will be greatly disturbed to find the shadow of deception behind them – and additionally disturbed by the scope of its influence. The recipient can get lost in feelings of hurt or shame, and remain in the past planning defense strategies.
The recipient of the deception, feeling betrayed and unsafe, will respond in one of two defensive ways – fight or flight. Below is a further breakdown into the responses which are activated when the recipient attempts to reestablish safety and balance in their life:
• Fight Response – includes bullying, organizing, manipulating or doting (on the Deceiver)
• Flight Response – includes being emotionally withdrawn, immobilized, confused or in complete denial.
Since the perception of the Truth held by the Deceiver is strong, it will be very hard to find a common understanding between the Deceiver and the Betrayed.
The Deceiver knows the Betrayed much better than the Betrayed knows the Deceiver. The Deceiver has watched carefully and twisted information between the two of them to serve self.
The Deceiver has perfected manipulation to 1) stay safe and 2) because the Deceiver firmly believes they deserve what they have set their sights on. Safety and entitlement issues are intertwined.
Confronting the Deceiver may or may not create resolution. Confrontation has the potential to rectify the situation and mend feelings of betrayal – but will not necessarily resolve the reason why the Deceiver visited in the first place.
Guidelines for Action:
If you are good at confrontation, do not confront.
If you are not good at confrontation, do confront.
(All actions should be taken to serve the growth of the self not to punish or humiliate the Deceiver.)
Communication or a meeting of minds is not possible if the deception is maintained.
All personages and situations that cross the individual’s life path are Divinely Inspired. Since this is true then…
Why would an individual call in the energy of deception?
• To be reminded to stay aligned with their Inner Wisdom
• To clarify their relationship to Truth
• To experience the role of the Betrayed
• To challenge the known Truth
• To learn the power of speaking the known Truth
• To learn the power of allowing the untruth a voice
Please note that the energy of deception is never called in for the individual to learn to be less Trusting. The ability to Trust without reservation is an aptitude with a spiritual principle, one which never requires lessening. It may, though, need to be combined with discernment to be more meaningful to life experience. If better discernment is not combined with the energy of deception then the gift is lost and the victim retains the feelings associated with betrayal.
True resolution is in the integration of the gift in the deception.
When the gift is received and the package opened,
the healing begins,
and the Deceiver disappears from your life.
The Gift of Deception
Deception teaches you to discern where to place your Trust. This gift is not about a loss of innocence, but more about, the implementation or awakening of Inner Wisdom.
May you journey with open eyes,
every step an opportunity to grow your Inner Wisdom,
no matter who you walk with.
Deception walks with you stealthily when it does.
It is never forthright.
It is of darkness and shadow.
Dedicated to its mission to deceive,
it will stand tall in defense of its position if exposed.
Denial and the manipulation of facts come easy to the Deceiver. The recipient will be looked straight in the eye and their reaction disregarded. The Deceiver is mission driven and strong. On the other hand, the one who discovers they have been deceived will feel deeply cut and betrayed.
When deception is discovered the recipient will stop and search the past frantically for indicators of where the deception began. They will be greatly disturbed to find the shadow of deception behind them – and additionally disturbed by the scope of its influence. The recipient can get lost in feelings of hurt or shame, and remain in the past planning defense strategies.
The recipient of the deception, feeling betrayed and unsafe, will respond in one of two defensive ways – fight or flight. Below is a further breakdown into the responses which are activated when the recipient attempts to reestablish safety and balance in their life:
• Fight Response – includes bullying, organizing, manipulating or doting (on the Deceiver)
• Flight Response – includes being emotionally withdrawn, immobilized, confused or in complete denial.
Since the perception of the Truth held by the Deceiver is strong, it will be very hard to find a common understanding between the Deceiver and the Betrayed.
The Deceiver knows the Betrayed much better than the Betrayed knows the Deceiver. The Deceiver has watched carefully and twisted information between the two of them to serve self.
The Deceiver has perfected manipulation to 1) stay safe and 2) because the Deceiver firmly believes they deserve what they have set their sights on. Safety and entitlement issues are intertwined.
Confronting the Deceiver may or may not create resolution. Confrontation has the potential to rectify the situation and mend feelings of betrayal – but will not necessarily resolve the reason why the Deceiver visited in the first place.
Guidelines for Action:
If you are good at confrontation, do not confront.
If you are not good at confrontation, do confront.
(All actions should be taken to serve the growth of the self not to punish or humiliate the Deceiver.)
Communication or a meeting of minds is not possible if the deception is maintained.
All personages and situations that cross the individual’s life path are Divinely Inspired. Since this is true then…
Why would an individual call in the energy of deception?
• To be reminded to stay aligned with their Inner Wisdom
• To clarify their relationship to Truth
• To experience the role of the Betrayed
• To challenge the known Truth
• To learn the power of speaking the known Truth
• To learn the power of allowing the untruth a voice
Please note that the energy of deception is never called in for the individual to learn to be less Trusting. The ability to Trust without reservation is an aptitude with a spiritual principle, one which never requires lessening. It may, though, need to be combined with discernment to be more meaningful to life experience. If better discernment is not combined with the energy of deception then the gift is lost and the victim retains the feelings associated with betrayal.
True resolution is in the integration of the gift in the deception.
When the gift is received and the package opened,
the healing begins,
and the Deceiver disappears from your life.
The Gift of Deception
Deception teaches you to discern where to place your Trust. This gift is not about a loss of innocence, but more about, the implementation or awakening of Inner Wisdom.
May you journey with open eyes,
every step an opportunity to grow your Inner Wisdom,
no matter who you walk with.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
A Spiritual Perspective on Fear
Very unfortunately there are many predictions, modern and ancient, that say 2008 will be a year that will trigger fear for most of us.
If we are, at all times, Divinely led then what is the purpose of experiencing fear? Before allowing the prospect of fear to derail your life and set you actually running towards it, let’s talk about what fear is spiritually.
Fear is trapped creativity.
Creativity allows us to think and feel our way beyond our challenges. It allows resolution to be realized. Creativity is the impulse for manifestation, the actual fire of creation.
Fear is a thought/feeling form
that stifles and immobilizes the potential for clear resolution.
Creativity allows for the free and unblocked flow of information that supports our decision making. If we hold onto the thought that things are out of our control, beyond our understanding or our ability to cope then we will manifest a fearful state.
If we hold onto feelings related to fear like depression, despondency or anger, we can become addicted to those feelings. When this happens, the fear feeds off of itself and grows exponentially.
When consumed by fear, we are stunned, immobilized and dominated by the thoughts and feelings associated with it. We think we have no choices and that we are powerless. We are hesitant and unsure of ourselves.
Sometimes people respond to fearful thoughts and feelings with aggression. These people will dominate fearful times, but sadly they will be mentally as unclear and unable to make wise decisions as the person who is fearful and powerless. Being in fear and being led by the fear full is a very serious situation – one which 2008 will probably be gifting us in quantum doses.
How is fear a gift?
In 2008, we are going to hear things that radically challenge our ability to Trust. We will be confused. It will be hard for us to determine where the Truth lies amidst the words and situations that will unfold.
We are all seekers walking our own path – and attempting to live the best life we know how. Whether you are interested in predictions or interested in improving the quality of your own life separate and distinct from the predictions, here are a few things to know, and to take to Heart, in regards to fear.
All thought and feeling forms exist in a nebulous state. Whether that thought/feeling form is rooted in fear or Trust, it is meant to flow to you, touch your life, and to support your personal growth. Thought and feeling forms are What Is. They are to themselves what they are. They offer information to those who welcome them into their lives.
The gift of fear
is that it takes us to the brink of the creative impulse
and invites us to dive in.
The integration of the gift of fear into our lives and to know its Truth, is to know creativity and resolution.
Making It Personal
A pebble thrown into the Lake of You ripples through all of your life. When fear touches your life, it makes a powerful impression on every aspect of you because fear intensifies as it travels across the Lake of You. It has the potential to grow, overflow the banks and spread to others like an unchecked tsunami.
When you heal your relationship to fear by truly understanding its place in your life and the world, you meet your challenges as a spiritual seeker. The lake then calms, and a new day dawns with hope.
• Accept the gift aspect of fear by letting go of the perception that something is before you to make you afraid.
• Open to the possibility that it is before you to teach you something.
• Accept that you have stifled your creativity.
• Release your creativity with your intention to do so.
• Allow it to guide you towards resolution.
• Immerse yourself in the creative impulse to see/hear/feel the Truth of What is and to respond with wisdom.
Fear challenges the most primal aspect of your Being-ness to awaken – your ability to create.
It takes only a small dose of creativity or one inspiring clear, wise thought to reduce a seemingly large, over powering fear to a whimper. Know fear for what it is – and thrive!
If we are, at all times, Divinely led then what is the purpose of experiencing fear? Before allowing the prospect of fear to derail your life and set you actually running towards it, let’s talk about what fear is spiritually.
Fear is trapped creativity.
Creativity allows us to think and feel our way beyond our challenges. It allows resolution to be realized. Creativity is the impulse for manifestation, the actual fire of creation.
Fear is a thought/feeling form
that stifles and immobilizes the potential for clear resolution.
Creativity allows for the free and unblocked flow of information that supports our decision making. If we hold onto the thought that things are out of our control, beyond our understanding or our ability to cope then we will manifest a fearful state.
If we hold onto feelings related to fear like depression, despondency or anger, we can become addicted to those feelings. When this happens, the fear feeds off of itself and grows exponentially.
When consumed by fear, we are stunned, immobilized and dominated by the thoughts and feelings associated with it. We think we have no choices and that we are powerless. We are hesitant and unsure of ourselves.
Sometimes people respond to fearful thoughts and feelings with aggression. These people will dominate fearful times, but sadly they will be mentally as unclear and unable to make wise decisions as the person who is fearful and powerless. Being in fear and being led by the fear full is a very serious situation – one which 2008 will probably be gifting us in quantum doses.
How is fear a gift?
In 2008, we are going to hear things that radically challenge our ability to Trust. We will be confused. It will be hard for us to determine where the Truth lies amidst the words and situations that will unfold.
We are all seekers walking our own path – and attempting to live the best life we know how. Whether you are interested in predictions or interested in improving the quality of your own life separate and distinct from the predictions, here are a few things to know, and to take to Heart, in regards to fear.
All thought and feeling forms exist in a nebulous state. Whether that thought/feeling form is rooted in fear or Trust, it is meant to flow to you, touch your life, and to support your personal growth. Thought and feeling forms are What Is. They are to themselves what they are. They offer information to those who welcome them into their lives.
The gift of fear
is that it takes us to the brink of the creative impulse
and invites us to dive in.
The integration of the gift of fear into our lives and to know its Truth, is to know creativity and resolution.
Making It Personal
A pebble thrown into the Lake of You ripples through all of your life. When fear touches your life, it makes a powerful impression on every aspect of you because fear intensifies as it travels across the Lake of You. It has the potential to grow, overflow the banks and spread to others like an unchecked tsunami.
When you heal your relationship to fear by truly understanding its place in your life and the world, you meet your challenges as a spiritual seeker. The lake then calms, and a new day dawns with hope.
• Accept the gift aspect of fear by letting go of the perception that something is before you to make you afraid.
• Open to the possibility that it is before you to teach you something.
• Accept that you have stifled your creativity.
• Release your creativity with your intention to do so.
• Allow it to guide you towards resolution.
• Immerse yourself in the creative impulse to see/hear/feel the Truth of What is and to respond with wisdom.
Fear challenges the most primal aspect of your Being-ness to awaken – your ability to create.
It takes only a small dose of creativity or one inspiring clear, wise thought to reduce a seemingly large, over powering fear to a whimper. Know fear for what it is – and thrive!
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